865 days. 2 years, 4 months, 15 days. That was how long I nursed my daughter. I’ve reached one week of weaning and I can’t believe that this moment has arrived. She has been transitioning so well. With my over 2 year breastfeeding journey, I wanted to share how we got through the highs and the lows – returning to work, biting, and nursing through pregnancy.
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Before Giving Birth
When I first found out I was pregnant, I knew that I wanted to try breastfeeding. However, my mom was only able to breastfeed me for six weeks and it caused a lot of pain. My grandmother was part of the generation where formula feeding was what was recommended. So I didn’t hear much about breastfeeding in my household.
With that, after I attended my birthing class, I found out that my instructor was also a lactation consultant and she offered a nursing preparation class. So I took it to get basic information about nursing. Having this information and building that connection with a consultant was so incredibly helpful to the longevity of my breastfeeding journey.
The Beginning
When H was first born, we were able to experience “The Golden Hour,” where I held her and nursed her within the first hour. There weren’t any medical concerns and for the first day and night, she would wake up and I nursed her. There was a point where I had my husband call the nurse in because I was experiencing a lot of pain on my nipples. Plus being exhausted and stressed about taking care of this human being, I panicked and thought that I couldn’t do it. However, the nurse provided me with a nipple shield and gel pads to help alleviate the pain. She also explained that the pain was normal, as now I was building callouses on my nipples – not a super fun experience. She made sure to note that the hospital lactation consultant should come check on me and evaluate for ties. The consultant checked in and helped me figure out some different positions that may help H and myself get some flexibility when nursing.
For the first two weeks, I used the nipple shield, lanolin cream, and often walk around shirtless to alleviate the pain that I was experiencing. I was able to find a local lactation consultant to meet with, who conducted a weighted feed check and found that H was getting plenty. She explained the same thing that the nurse did, that my body was just getting used to having a little human being fed every 2 to 3 hours! Luckily, with the shield and Earth Mama nipple cream, I was able to manage the pain until it worked itself out essentially.
Returning to Work
After the painful beginning, we had fairly smooth sailing through our breastfeeding journey. There was the occasional clamp down, but luckily, H didn’t have teeth yet, so it wasn’t too painful. Looking back, she typically was clamping down probably because her teeth were shifting.
Fast forward to when I returned to work, baby H was 8 months old. I was incredibly blessed to be able to return so late in her life – with the pandemic and being a teacher – I went back to work at the start of the 2021 school year. In preparation for this, I got comfortable with my pump and was able to build a small milk reserve for our childcare provider to use when I went back to work.
My pumping supplies:
Once I went back to work, I was pumping twice a day – during my prep and during lunch. H really fought taking a bottle, even though we had practiced leading up to going to work. Eventually, we transitioned to the Honey Bear Straw cup where she drank milk more consistently. Also, she really liked eating real food, so I wasn’t stressed about her getting enough calories during the day through just breast milk. With that, I was able to produce enough from pumping to replace what was being used and still maintained my milk reserve (which I still have in my freezer!). I did eventually decide to get a wearable pump for myself, rather than my big bulky pump so that I was able to have more flexibility to work while pumping.
Happy One Year!
Right around when my daughter was turning one, she had more teeth and was beginning to cut her one-year molars. Over winter break, as she was nursing to sleep, baby H started clamping down as she fell asleep, and then pulling back with her teeth. Oh my goodness, the pain. Essentially, her bottom teeth would catch and rip my nipple. On the night of December 23rd, 2021, she got me really bad during the night. At the time, we were bedsharing – we began in August when her teething was so bad – and so I was side-lying and nursing her back to sleep throughout the night. She took a big chunk out, to the point that for the following day, I couldn’t nurse from that side for the following day and had to pump on that side.
I honestly thought this would be the end of our journey – it was so painful and was causing my anxiety to skyrocket when nursing at night. However, we managed. I contacted my lactation consultant and she told me that I could use Neosporin to encourage healing, to try and break the latch when I noticed any clamping, to soak in salt water after nursing, and if it came down to it, it was okay to wean for my sanity. With that, we celebrated when she didn’t clamp and popped her off when I noticed it happening – before any more damage could happen. After a week – a stressful, long week – she had stopped clamping and pulling. Once her molars came in, she was good. So our journey continued!
The End of Pumping
In the winter, I had been coaching, so I was pumping afterschool on my way to practices and matches everyday. Once my season ended at the beginning of February, I was able to stop pumping afterschool. It was magnificent to put the pumping supplies away. I haven’t pumped since February of 2022. I didn’t like it, but I did it to keep my milk supply up.
Just Nursing
Now that H was 1, she didn’t “need” breast milk, but she still liked to have “milkies” with her momma. Around this point, I stopped offering it when I got home and waited for her to ask for them. Typically, she always asked for them. But I also tried to offer her snacks or water to see if that was what she wanted first. If not, milkies it was.
By the time summer 2022 rolled around, she was really only nursing to go to sleep, but would also never turn down an opportunity for milkies. This was incredibly helpful when we flew to Hawaii, where I could nurse her at takeoff to help reduce the ear pressure for her. Plus she would fall asleep for the majority of the flights as well! Once our trip was done, we went back to nursing for sleep – nap times, bedtime, and night wakes. This continued through until we hit our 2 year mark!
Happy Two Years!
As the two year mark was coming up, I found out that month that I was pregnant again. My husband and I had been trying, so we knew it was a possibility. We were so excited, but it brought the new challenge for myself of managing nipple sensitivity and nursing. H was still just nursing for sleep – it was a big association for her – but I was growing so uncomfortable at night. I remember explaining to my husband that it felt like a constant itch in my breast, that I just wanted to run away, but I couldn’t. This was when I began really pushing for weaning, but still wanted to do it H’s pace as much as possible.
So we began having conversations about having no more milkies. How when you grow up, you stop having milk from your mom. We read weaning books together and my main goal was to just plant the seed for her – get her thinking about it!
Our weaning books:
The Beginning of the End
Luckily for me, a big help was that H began to sleep through the night consistently around her second birthday, which was at the end of December 2022. With this, the association was lessening. We also began doing car naps on the weekends to cut that down as well. It was just bedtime feeds from January to May 2023.
We began changing our bedtime routine a bit, with laying in bed rather than sitting in the chair. We read books, told stories, and began listening to her Tonies at night. Plus have snuggles. H would ask for milk, to which I would tell her that she had to make sure she was gentle and that we would only have milk until a certain point in the story. This point would become closer and closer to the beginning, to cut down the time considerably.
Mother’s Day of 2023
Until one night, she just didn’t ask. At all. Which was the moment I realized that she could do this. So, we made sure to have a snack and water by her bed. The next night, she asked for milkies, but I told her that she should eat her snack instead. She was a little upset, for maybe a minute, and then moved on to the snack. From that point on, she would either not ask or if she did ask for milk, I offered her her snack. No fussing, just totally accepting that she’s done with milkies.
There are still some quirks left over from nursing – like she likes to grab my breasts as a comfort for her. Or if she sees me naked, she always says “I like your boobs” to which my husband enthusiastically yells from across the house “me too!” But our breastfeeding journey is complete.
Now What?
Now, I get my body to myself (kind of) until baby number 2 arrives in August. H and I talk about how baby brother will have milkies from mom, just like how she did. The emotions for myself have been manageable – I knew this moment would come, but there is the added layer that my daughter isn’t my only baby anymore. She’s a little kid. We have conversations about life, we play pretend games, she’s going to be a big sister soon. There’s a lot of emotions in that, and this change is one that solidifies that for me.
If you are thinking about breastfeeding or are trying right now, know that it’s okay if it’s not easy right now. Whatever your journey looks like, however your journey ends, be proud of what you’ve done!
