When I became a mom, no one warned me about the huge change in the mental load that I would experience. However, after having my two kids and reflecting, I’ve been able to become more conscious about it and make sure to include my husband into the conversation more. One of the first starting points for me to be able to do so was to read about the mental load to educate myself on it. So here are a handful of books on the mental load to get me comfortable in talking about it!
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What is the Mental Load?
First off, we need to identify what the mental load is. The mental load is the emotional and cognitive work it takes to manage a task. It’s often called the “invisible labor,” as it focuses more on the parts that are behind-the-scenes of the task. Within a home and within parenting, this typically falls to the mom. For example, doing the research about sleeping, managing introducing solid foods and other feeding (formula or breastfeeding), scheduling and recording appointments, planning dinners for the week, or creating a cleaning plan for the house.
Books on the Mental Load
1. “The Mental Load: A Feminist Comic” by Emma
This is a graphic novel that provides a creative way to look into the mental load that women take on with parenting and household chores. A wonderful book on the mental load that gives real-life examples and a better understanding of what it is!
2. “Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less” by Tiffany Dufu
When it comes to delegating, this book is a great read to help you begin that process. It is super helpful when you are needing to manage the mental load of parenting and the house to delegate and have conversations of who does what.
Looking for more books related to parenting? Check out these Montessori parenting books!
3. “All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood” by Jennifer Senior
In this book, Jennifer Senior looks at the impact that parenting has on adults through several different lenses – economically, socially, historically, philosophically. It is a book about parenthood – both the positives and negatives.
4. “How to Be a Happier Parent: Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute” by KJ Dell’Antonia
Within this book, there is practical advice and strategies for finding joy and balance in parenting through nine common issues that parents face. With that in mind, self-care and managing the home becomes a team effort rather than more on the mental load.
5. “Releasing the Mother Load: How to Carry Less and Enjoy Motherhood More” by Erica Djossa
When I found out that Erica was writing a book about the mental load, I ran to Amazon to buy it as I have been a long time follower of Erica’s. Her Instagram is a great resource about mental load to make you feel seen, but now she has a book that provides guidance on managing it all too? Sign me up!
In the end, the mental load of parenting is overwhelming and working to diminish it is a constant battle. However, these books provide you with strategies to manage it, but even more importantly, remind you that you aren’t alone.
1 Comment
As I will be taking the first time mom role soon, your article is very helpful.